


How to tidy your room

by Phantje



Series: How to ... [7]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Dan doesn't know what to do, Dan is whiny, Getting Together, Lying / Telling the truth, M/M, Nostalgia, Phan Fluff, Phil can't really help him, Phil is caring, a bit of an existential crisis, sleeping, tidying, tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 12:19:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9490751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantje/pseuds/Phantje
Summary: Dan does not know what he should do. He could spend time on the internet but that would make him feel like he had achieved nothing (which would be the truth...). After discussing the matter with Phil he decides to tidy his room. Dan manages to do quite a bit until he stumbles upon some fotos he has never shown anyone: fotos of him and Phil just smiling - still a little too reveiling for Dan. Dan gets lost in nostalgia which makes Phil think he is having an existential crisis. Phil really wants to help Dan, not knowing that Dan needs his help but not because of an exisitential crisis.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Have fun reading! <3 (It's better than the title suggests! I mean I know that not everyone is as weird as me - being excited for tidying and stuff...)

Dan’s POV

“What can I do?” Dan groaned. It was the first thing he had said that day. He had just walked into the living room joining a tired Phil. Ever since he had opened his eyes he had thought about different kinds of actions, useless actions, actions that had an effect on others and the difference between actions that made you feel proud and actions that left you feeling like you had achieved nothing whatsoever.  
“Pardon?” Phil asked and sipped his coffee. He was sitting on the couch giving his best to pretend he was awake.  
“I want to do something productive.”  
“So no watching Anime?” Phil asked and blew little waves into his coffee.  
“No. I need to feel like I did something worthwhile today.”  
“Why is that?”  
“I just feel like it.”  
“Right. Film a video then.” Phil said. Dan groaned and Phil finally looked up from his coffee. “I’m sorry. Still a little tired.” Phil smiled apologetically.  
“It’s not your fault.” Dan groaned again. A perfect example for an action that did the contrary of making you feel proud. Dan felt guilty that he had made Phil feel like he had to apologize.  
“How about you film that video then?” Phil asked.  
“Is filming a video worthwhile though?” Dan asked and let himself fall down onto the sofa next to Phil. Perhaps he should just stop over-thinking everything.  
“Of course it is.” Phil said decidedly. “Your audience loves you! Making people happy is to be considered worthwhile in my opinion.” Dan huffed and Phil rose his eyebrows. “What is it Dan?”  
“I’m making people temporarily happy, I grant you that.” Dan started.  
“But?” Phil asked.  
“But (!) I never really have a huge impact on the world, do I?” Dan asked. Phil mustered him and shook his head slowly. He then started laughing. “Sorry?” Dan asked.  
“Are you in a pre-state of an existential crisis?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Nope. Don’t think so.” Dan answered.  
“Good. But take care, I might make you have one.” Phil warned with a bright smile.  
“Is that so?” Dan asked.  
Phil ignored him, placed his coffee onto the table and turned around to Dan. “Dan, you need to realise that in your life you only ever get to have an influence on a certain circle of people. Everybody has that circle and some have the amazing opportunity to make that circle bigger than initially envisaged. I count us to these kinds of people. If you would have thought about this issue when you were six how probable would you have had this situation? You, influencing a lot of people around the world. It would have probably sounded like a joke, and yet here you are, doing the exact thing. So instead of mopping around because you don’t have any influence on the world tell yourself that with influencing a gigantic circle of people, making them happier, you do have an influence on the whole world, making it a better place.”  
“Damn.”  
“Sorry?” Phil asked exhaustedly.  
“I wish I recorded that.” Dan whispered totally in awe.  
“Why?”  
“Because it’s really motivational!” Dan said excitedly. “Do you really think that though, part of it did not sound like you…”  
“Dan, just because you are not the only one that says stuff like ‘initially envisaged’ does not mean I stole my speech from anyone.” Phil said and leaned back.  
“Sorry.” Dan said quietly. “It was an impressive speech though.”  
“I know. I’m quite surprised myself. I normally never manage to do anything impressive.”  
“Actually, that just there was pretty impressive.”  
“Sorry?”  
“I’d call you oblivious to your true talent a rather impressive achievement.” Dan said and crossed his arms. Phil wanted to say something but Dan was quicker: “I don’t have the time to return the favour of a motivational speech. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to impress me with playing down your talent.”  
“Why don’t you have time?” Phil asked, Dan was glad that he focused on the least problematic part of his sentence.  
“Because I will go and film a video now.” Dan said and jumped up.  
“Careful! You’ve got slow blood.” Phil warned and sat up to potentially catch Dan.  
“Thanks. I’m fine.” Dan said and ran into his room. Even if he might not have seemed like it: He really needed to get out of that living room. It was Phil’s fault, obviously. Phil always melted Dan’s heart, and all the other organs while we’re at it, with the kind words he had to offer for anyone apart for himself. It was torture. Especially when Dan could never be entirely honest with the actual amount of love he felt for Phil. As in everyone loves their friends but loving someone like a friend and loving someone from the bottom of one’s heart is an entirely different thing. Phil obviously fitted into the second category. Dan closed the door to his bedroom and fell against it.  
“Let’s film a video.” Dan said and rubbed his hands. In moments like these he was really happy that he did not spend every single second with Phil. Otherwise Phil would have surely already left the apartment, not being able to cope with Dan’s behaviour. But as Dan was able to hide his worst side from everyone Phil was still living with him.  
Dan walked further into his room and grabbed his camera from underneath a pile of clean shirts. That was when he noticed that he could never possibly film a video any time soon.  
Dan understood pretty well that it was only right for humans to clear out their living space every once in a while. What he didn’t understand was that clearing out the living space was always very hard and time consuming. Dan usually needed a full day or two just so that he was able to see the floor of his bedroom again. That was not fair. It was actually particularly unfair as it only ever took a couple of minutes to destroy the hard worked for symmetry of his room.  
Dan sighed and looked around his room. There were masses of clothes lying around on top of his chair, his bed and obviously the floor. There were not only clothes lying around though, as clearing that out would be manageable, even in time to film a video the same day. No, there were also books, packaging of different kinds of foods and little bits and pieces of which Dan had no idea where they should go. When he and Phil first moved into their London apartment it had been relatively easy to clear out his room. That was because they did not have a lot of belongings then. Now after several conventions, birthdays and Christmas-es their little flat was overflowing with presents they simply couldn’t bear to get rid of. A lot of these presents were really unique and it wasn’t like they could just shove them into a cupboard. Now they were shattered around their home attracting dust. Dan loved them as they gave their apartment a personality but he also hated them because they blocked the space where they could store things. He also hated them because he could rarely properly concentrate onto something as memories flooded his brain and made him unable to do anything apart from reliving them.  
“Concentrate!” Dan hissed and grabbed a shirt off the floor. He checked if it was clean and then threw it onto his bed. He groaned and sat down on the edge of the bed. There was no surprise in his room being messy when he always just threw things around. Dan dramatically let himself fall onto his bed with a long sigh, only to sit up bolt right again because something sharp had sunken into his shoulder. There was the cap of a perfume lying on his bed. Dan was pretty sure that the actual perfume was in the bathroom, so how on earth did the cap get into his bed? After Dan gave his best to riddle out the mystery for several minutes he noticed that he had done it once again. The thoughts had gotten the better of him and actually doing anything was pushed out of his mind.  
“Browse or tidy?” Dan asked himself out loud. Phil knew he was talking to himself occasionally so Dan did not need to fear he was scaring him away with doing it once again. Also talking out loud helped him to focus. “Tidy.” Dan said with a sigh. His room certainly needed a good tidying and the longer he waited the more stressful the whole event would become. Tidying it now also meant that he could possibly film a video later that day. Okay, there was no way that could work but Dan decided to give it a shot nevertheless – it was better to start a colossal task like this optimistically.  
Dan got up from his bed and grabbed the perfume cap and sat it onto his bedside table. He then checked if there were any other random items in his bed. He found two socks (that didn’t match) and a phone charger. Dan threw the socks in front of his piano to form a pile of laundry. He collected a few shirts and trousers to add to that pile and looked at his work. Dan groaned and took a closer look at the things on his desk. If only tidying meant you collected clothes and put them into the washing. No. Now that the dirty clothes were out of the way the actual monstrosity of the task Dan had entitled himself to was laid out before him. There were wires lying around in every corner of the room. Dan collected them and spent an hour creating little tags for them so that he would not have to rebuy charges because he forgot where they were or what they were for. Dan usually occupied himself with a lot of small tasks while completing one big one so that it always took (sometimes literal) years for him to finish one thing. After creating a pile of neatly rolled up chargers Dan went over to his wardrobe. Not even the clothes inside the drawer were folded neatly so Dan did the only reasonable thing: He pushed all the things that weren’t clothes together, he then pulled out every single item of clothing out of the wardrobe and the drawer and started folding them anew. Needless to say that this took rather long. Not made any better by the fact that Dan stared at quite a few items of clothing trying to remember when he had last worn them or what had happened when he was wearing them in general. Dan also stared at a few pieces that he had completely forgotten existed. After finishing with his jumpers Dan already felt like giving up but he quickly concluded that that would leave him feel worse than he had done earlier this morning. Dan was a little quicker with his smart shirts but that was only because he forbade himself to think about any occasion where he had worn them. The reason for that was simply that Dan could not let his mind wander to all the things he had experienced with Phil. Dan only ever let his mind go into that direction when Phil wasn’t there. It was not possible for Dan to look at Phil after being confronted with the history they had. He always wanted to say something. He wanted to comment their history. He wanted to initiate a different kind of history making in the future. For heaven’s sake! He wanted to kiss Phil! He really wanted to do that. And that was a problem. A big problem.  
Dan got up and stretched his back. He had been sitting in one position for far too long and the shirts needed to be hung up anyways. He placed them into the wardrobe, losing time because he made great effort to colour coordinate them. It was ridiculous but he had accepted about himself long ago, after all he had to live with himself 24/7.  
After putting the smart shirts away Dan went on to the shirts, next the trousers and lastly his socks. He spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to match identical looking black socks together. In the end he pulled the matching pairs apart and decided that he would simply grab two socks and put them on, no one cared anyways. Also Dan was living with Phil so he could say that Phil’s habit rubbed off on Dan. Phil never wore matching socks. A smile formed on Dan’s face. There was no need to pretend that he was smiling because he was finished ranging his clothes. The smile had formed because of Phil. That wasn’t bad in general but it just so happened that it was bad in this particular moment as Dan was now losing himself in memories. They weren’t even that important. Memories of Dan and Phil sitting on the couch laughing about a pun until both of them were crying, memories of them making pancakes together - simple memories which were all very special to Dan.  
Dan shook his head trying to make himself think of something else. His eyes darted around the room, landing on the pile of things he had simply shoved together. He kneeled down and aimlessly rummaged through them. He collected a few pencils and put them into a mug on his desk. He then collected the packaging and put them into the bin. His room nearly looked like a room once again. Dan already saw himself filming a video at the speed that he was completing the monstrous task. However this attitude changed once he saw a bundle of pictures lying on the floor, or rather peeking out from underneath the bed. Dan hunched down and pulled them out. They were pictures Dan had labelled as not safe for work. Only in his mind and not in the sense a lot of people on tumblr used the term for. The picture were of Dan and Phil and occasionally some friends at various occasions. It was usually Dan that sorted pictures out so whenever he found some that fitted into this category he took care that Phil did not get to see them. The reason why Dan hid the pictures was that they were showing just how Dan felt for Phil. He obviously only unintentionally let anyone take pictures in moments where he could not control his facial expression.  
Dan sat down against the frame of his bed on the floor and slowly flicked through the pictures. On a lot of these photos he was simply smiling fondly, still a little too fond for Dan to feel easy to share with anyone. Dan was completely mesmerised by the pictures. It felt like he was actually in the photo again experiencing everything repeated. One picture showed Dan and Phil looked at each other with cocktails in their hands. Dan’s eyes started tearing up. He happily blamed it partly on him being exhausted from tidying his room for some hours but he could not ignore that he was also crying because he looked at a beautiful picture of him and Phil looking at one another. Phil’s smile was bright, his whole face was scrunched up with joy. Dan wasn’t any better, with the only difference that the words: ‘I love Phil!’ could have been written on his forehead, underlining the obvious. Dan pressed the picture against his chest with a proper tear rolling down his cheek. He shook his head and sobbed quietly. He was behaving ridiculously and worst of all also dangerously as Phil would notice what he had been thinking about and Dan couldn’t risk that.  
Dan was still clutching the picture to his heart when he suddenly heard a knock on the door. Phil opened the door too quickly for Dan to be able to put the picture away, let alone get up.  
“Dan? Are you alright?” Phil asked. Dan noticed that he was carrying a tray with two steaming mugs on top.  
“What?” Dan asked back, quickly rubbed his eyes, so that it wasn’t too obvious that he had been crying.  
“You are not lying face first on the floor.”  
“No. I’m not.” Dan said and rose his eyebrows not understanding what Phil was getting at. 

 

Phil’s POV

It was hours since Phil had last heard from Dan. He had run away from him to film a video. Whenever he said that it usually took him some time to set everything up, to actually know what he wanted to say and then some time before he spoke at a value the microphone could catch. However, not even after waiting five full hours, yes, five actual hours, Phil was able to hear any sound coming out of Dan’s room. He immediately started to worry. Dan was a little slower than other people and he liked to procrastinate but after announcing that he was to film a video Dan usually did exactly what he said what he would do: film a video.  
Phil got up from the sofa. He hadn’t moved since Dan had left the room. He had simply grabbed his computer and spent the time watching small videos on YouTube or catching up with his emails. He was a little stiff and moved around a bit to let a few bones crack. Phil quietly walked into the hallway and listened carefully if he could make out any sound coming from Dan. He might be mistaken after all, perhaps Da was sitting in there filming a video. However when Phil didn’t hear a sound after standing in the hallway for ten minutes he decided that he needed to do something. The only possible reason for no sound coming out of Dan’s room was that Dan was having an existential crisis – because of Phil. Phil knew it had been audacious for him to talk to Dan about his influence and his development. Things like this usually triggered this kind of behaviour in Dan. He should have known better. That was sure. Phil did not know explicitly what he was going to do now. He would visit Dan and give his best to prevent an existential crisis from forming. For that Phil went into the kitchen and made some hot chocolate for Dan and a coffee for himself. He then filled several bowls with different sweets: some marshmallows, dry cereal and Maltesers. Afterwards he prepared two glasses of Ribena and put everything onto a tray. There was a small possibility that Dan would not want to have him there. Not every existential crisis was the exact same. Sometimes Dan needed contact (without ever saying so directly) and sometimes he needed space to find himself. Phil hoped this existential crisis was one where Dan could do something with Phil’s attempts to make him feel better. After all this was all Phil’s fault so he might as well be rewarded with his compensations having a positive effect.  
Phil carefully balanced the things on the tray and made his way slowly over to Dan’s room. He listened quietly for a few seconds. There was no sound coming from the inside of the room. Not even the sound of a mouse clicking, which could have been Dan already editing his video. No, there was no sound. Phil balanced the tray against his ribs, knocked on the door and opened without waiting for an answer. Sometimes Dan zoned out far enough to not be able to perceive any noises.  
“Dan? Are you alright?” Phil asked carefully. Phil scanned the room and saw Dan sitting in front of his bed. Phil was confused, to say the least.  
“What?” Dan asked and rubbed his eyes.  
“You are not lying face first on the floor.” Phil remarked stupidly. He really felt stupid.  
“No. I’m not.” Dan said.  
“So I see.” Phil said and stood in the door.  
“Yes.”  
“Sorry, do you want me to leave?” Phil asked awkwardly.  
“What? Wait.” Dan said, Phil had already turned to leave. Dan shoved something into his pocket and waved Phil over to him. “What are you doing here?” Dan asked.  
“I… well… That’s not important.” Phil said. Dan looked at him questioningly so Phil walked over to the bed and sat down next to Dan but a little higher up with the tray on his knees. “I thought I had set off an existential crisis earlier today. You told me you were filming but I never heard any sound. I did not spy on you, I just thought it was unusual.” Phil said quietly.  
“What would have set off an existential crisis?” Dan asked and smiled up to Phil.  
“If you don’t remember I will certainly not repeat it now.” Phil said and returned the smile.  
“Was it that bad?” Dan asked.  
“You first said it was inspirational but then you might have looked on the troubling side of things.” Phil said before he could stop himself.  
“Ah, I remember. No your impressive speech was entirely motivational.” Dan said quietly and looked onto his fingers. Phil stayed silent for quite a while, gently wobbling the tray on his knees once again creating the fascinating waves in their hot brewages. Suddenly there was a quiet sound coming from Dan. Phil looked at him closely and saw that his shoulders were shaking.  
“Dan?” Phil asked softly. And nudged Dan with his knee making the things on the tray wobble dangerously. “Oh dear me. Shine. Everything’s fine.” Phil said quickly. Dan was now sobbing a little louder, to Phil’s horror. “What is it Dan?” Phil asked gently.  
“N…nothing.” Dan sobbed and rubbed his eyes aggressively.  
“Come on, you can tell me.” Phil said, hoping he could make something better.  
“Of course I can…” Dan said quietly and a bit bitterly, if Phil wasn’t mistaken.  
“Dan? Do you want me to go?” Phil asked carefully, sensing that he might be the reason for Dan’s sadness. Dan didn’t answer so Phil quietly got up, interpreting Dan’s silence as an affirmative answer.  
“No, stay.” Dan said and got up as well. Phil saw something pocking out of Dan’s pocket.  
“Sit down on the bed.” Phil instructed gently. Dan nodded and fell onto his duvet, taking a breath before swinging his legs onto the mattress as well.  
“You look like an old man.” Phil said and laughed quietly.  
“You’re older than me.” Dan whispered, once again aggressively rubbing his eyes.  
“Yes I am but I am as fit as a fiddle.” Phil said and urged Dan to lie down. Dan rolled his eyes but the slowly building smile immediately fell apart again. “Dan, tell me what’s bothering you.”  
“You really want to know, huh?” Dan asked and laughed a little pathetically.  
“I would certainly like that.” Phil said. He saw Dan struggling for words so he quickly shook his head. “I still want to know but I won’t make you tell me right now. I will stay here though. I’ll get your laptop, we watch a film and we drink our semi hot drinks.” Phil said.  
“Thanks.”  
“Is that okay with you?” Phil asked.  
“Sure.”  
“It’s only, you said you wanted to do something worthwhile today.” Phil said. He walked around Dan’s bed and placed the tray onto the empty coffee table.”  
“Oh. But I have in a sense.” Dan mumbled quietly. Phil watched him carefully and saw that he wasn’t only sad but also tired.  
“Have you?” Phil said and walked over to Dan’s desk to quickly grab the computer. Phil walked directly into a pile of things lying on the floor. He looked around the room. “Oh, you have!” Dan’s room looked pretty tidy, there were still a few bits lying around like the pile on the floor but apart from that everything looked really tidy, quite unlike Dan.  
“Yes. I have tidied my room.” Dan said and smiled sadly.  
“Well done you! Everything?” Phil asked and raised an eyebrow.  
“Go check the drawer you stalker.” Dan said with a warm smile. Phil quickly turned around and opened the doors of Dan’s wardrobe. Dan’s smile was doing something to Phil’s body which he had noticed before but really didn’t appreciate happening in exactly this moment.  
“Well done you!” Phil said and turned back to Dan. Dan was quick but Phil still saw him rubbing his eyes for the third time now. “Fancy watching something?” Phil asked quickly and settled down next to Dan.  
“With pleasure.” Dan said and sat up slightly.  
“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?” Phil asked and looked at a tired Dan next to him.  
“Give me my drink then I can stay awake for a little while longer.” Dan said and smiled. Phil quickly grabbed their mugs and handed one to Dan because a sleepy Dan’s smile was far more than he could take in that moment.  
“There you go. Get better soon.” Phil whispered and quickly sipped his own drink. “They really are only slightly warm, aren’t they?” Phil asked giving his best to not let the situation become awkward.  
“They are a little.” Dan said sleepily. Phil quickly stole the mug away again as Dan was about to pour chocolate over himself. “Perhaps I should just sleep.” Dan mumbled.  
“Maybe.” Phil said and smiled.  
“Phil?”  
“Yes Dan?” Phil asked and unconsciously shuffled a little closer to Dan.  
“Spending time with you is always worthwhile.” Dan mumbled and closed his eyes with a tiny smile. Phil stopped breathing immediately. Did Dan really just say that? It sounded very much like Dan… That was for sure. Phil practically stared Dan down and eventually remembered that it would not be bad to start breathing again. He started taking deep reassuring breaths. After a while the sight of Dan’s features softening and seeming overall content got literally too much so Phil got up. He grabbed a handful of dry cereal and walked over to the pile of things on the floor. If he wasn’t entirely mistaken it would do Dan some good if Phil would range the last few bits and pieces. Otherwise Dan’s brain would surely only ever register that his work wasn’t complete not that he had already achieved a lot.  
It took Phil quite a while to finish putting all the little things away. He was after all quite similar to Dan regarding tidying habits. Without meaning to Phil inspected next to every little piece trying to figure out its function, origin or place in Dan’s room. After quite a while Phil was exhausted and settled down next to Dan once again. He was not going to sleep, he just felt like lying down. While Phil made himself comfortable Dan shifted a little. Phil stopped moving immediately and waited for Dan to stop moving, or at least give signs that he was still sleeping. Dan moved a little closer to Phil, they were nearly touching now, hummed contently and started breathing slowly again. Phil was mesmerized and hated himself a little for it. It was only Dan after all. Okay, no need to pretend that ‘only Dan’ was already a lot more than Phil could handle in certain situations. Phil sighed quietly but didn’t turn away. Why shouldn’t he make the best of this situation? Phil looked at Dan and smiled brightly. After staring at Dan for quite a while Phil suddenly remembered what Dan had mumbled right before falling asleep. ‘Spending time with you is always worthwhile.’ Did he actually mean that or was he just saying that because… Okay, there was no way that Dan did not mean what he had said. The only question was if Dan had wanted to actually let Phil know what he had said or if it had been an accident. Phil could be mistaken once again (as he had already misjudged Dan’s silence earlier that day) but he was rather convinced that Dan did not want to enlighten him on the feelings he had for Phil. Wait a second… Did Dan actually have feelings for him? Or was that just Phil wanting too much. That would be pretty likely actually. How often did he think that trip had been leading that way with lots of lovely moments and even photos taken of said moments but whenever Phil looked through the collection of pictures there was not one proving him right.  
Phil sighed and ‘accidentally’ shuffled even closer to Dan. If he wasn’t touching him this could hardly be called exploiting him, could it? Phil decided it wasn’t and closed his eyes for a few seconds imagining what it would be like to wake up like this every day. Before the thoughts were able to capture Phil entirely he quickly opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling for a while. When he went back to looking at Dan he noticed that there was something poking out of Dan’s trouser pocket. It looked like a picture. Curiosity got the better of Phil so he carefully reached over and pulled the picture out. Before looking at it Phil waited a few moments to check Dan had not noticed anything. After Phil felt safe he turned the picture around and was greeted by a smiling Phil and an equally wide smiling Dan. They were looking at each other with drinks in their hands. Phil’s breath hitched a little. He had been right after all! Pictures like these existed after all! There had been moments! Phil couldn’t stop smiling but then he remembered that Dan had tried to hide these kinds of pictures. Why would he do that? Phil stopped smiling, sat up and looked for a logical answer. Did Dan hide them because they were embarrassing? Did he hide them because he didn’t want anyone to know about the feelings? Feelings, Phil had done it again. Why would his mind not take a rest and stop interpreting everything as ‘feelings’.  
Phil groaned silently. After arguing a little with himself he reasoned that it would be best to wake Dan up and deal with this once and for all. It would not do either of them any good if Phil tried to riddle it out by himself. He needed Dan’s help to get to the truth of the situation.  
“Dan? Wake up.” Phil said and gently shook Dan. “Come on. You should sleep at night not during the day.” Phil said and yawned. Right, this would surely convince Dan to wake up.  
“Huh?” Dan asked and opened his eyes.  
“Wake up.” Phil said. He could stop himself just in time to say ‘We need to talk.’.  
“You’re still here.” Dan whispered and sat up slowly.  
“I told you I’d make you tell me everything.” Phil said and smiled a little insecurely.  
“So you said.” Dan said and already looked a little sad. This was not going the way Phil had wanted it to go.  
“Okay, listen. I still won’t push you or anything but you would do me some good if you could explain why this was in your pocket.” Phil said after taking a deep breath. He held the photo over for Dan to see and waited patiently for an answer.  
“Oh Phil.” Dan sighed and rubbed his eyes.  
“Hey. It’s fine. Everything is fine. I only ever wondered why I could never find the most precious memories captured on photos.” Phil said.  
“What?”  
“You can hide photos but you can’t delete my memory!” Phil said and smiled. He dared to judge by Dan’s behaviour that he did have some kind of feelings for Phil.  
“Phil, I’m sorry.” Dan said.  
“You don’t have to be. It’s nice to know I was right after all.”  
“Sorry?” Dan asked, he sounded exhausted.  
“I was starting to become mad, thinking that I ever only imagined you looking at me a certain way. It’s a relief to know I did not actually become mad.”  
Dan stayed silent for quite a while but then said: “I never knew you enjoyed bullying that much.”  
“Sorry?” Phil asked.  
“Just tell me if you’re alright with me ‘looking at you a certain way’ or if I should stop immediately and forget we ever had this conversation.” Dan said hurriedly.  
“You want to forget?” Phil asked sadly.  
“Answer me Phil.” Dan pressed out, sounding like he was in great pain.  
“Never stop.” Phil mumbled.  
“Never?” Dan asked.  
“Nope.” Phil said and looked at Dan for the first time in a while. Dan smiled and Phil immediately returned the smile. “Do you care to tell me why you were so upset earlier?” Phil asked carefully.  
“Isn’t that self-explanatory?” Dan asked.  
“Not to me.”  
“Well the thought of this…” Dan gestured towards the picture “… of this never being a thing was rather painful especially when always being confronted with your kindness.”  
“You could have just told me.”  
“Right and risk having to look for a new home?” Dan asked.  
“You don’t seriously think I would have kicked you out, do you?” Phil asked and knew he sounded hurt.  
“What else would you have done?”  
“As I love you there is no way I could have kicked you out.” Phil said. Dan stared at him, eyes growing wider and wider. “What is it?” Phil asked, still no reply. “Was it something I said?” Phil asked.  
“Yes!” Dan choked.  
“What was it?” Phil asked now worried.  
“You LOVE me!” Dan screamed. Phil nearly fell out of the bed. He then started laughing.  
“I did say that didn’t I?” he asked with a warm smile.  
“You DID!” Dan said the look of horror slowly changing into one of pure delight.  
“Would you care to not let me look like an idiot?” Phil asked and blushed.  
“Like this?” Dan asked, pulled Phil closer and kissed him. Phil gasped and felt like passing out. He put his arms around Dan and closed any remaining distance. After a few seconds Phil pulled away.  
“You still didn’t say it.” Phil said.  
“You’re such a twat.”  
“Right that makes me want to kiss you.” Phil said sarcastically.  
“I love you.” Dan said with a big smile.  
“That on the contrary does make me want to kiss you.” Phil said and kissed Dan quickly.  
“You really are a twat.”  
“Actually, forget what I said, everything you say makes me want to kiss you.” Phil said and pecked Dan’s lips. “Even if just for the sake of silencing you.” Phil said and properly kissed Dan.  
“You’ll be the death of me.” Dan said happily.  
“Oh we can’t have that.” Phil said and backed away to lie down on the sheets once again.  
“What are you doing?” Dan asked annoyed.  
“Saving your life.” Phil said and smiled cheekily. “Let’s watch a film.”  
“Alright.” Dan said and snuggled into Phil. Phil put an arm around him and kissed his cheek. “I love you.” Dan whispered.  
“I know.”  
“Did I say ‘love’? I meant hate.” Dan said and pressed himself against Phil.  
“Whatever you say.” Phil said and tightened his grip around Dan. “I for one love you.”  
“You are such a dork.” Dan said and bent his neck to kiss Phil, breaking apart to start laughing.  
“Thank you very much.” Phil said with a smile.  
“It’s only. I cried earlier because I was convinced this could never happen.” Dan said and laughed.  
“There is no need for you to ever cry again.” Phil said. “At least concerning us.”  
“I love you.” Dan sighed and kissed Phil’s lips ever so lightly.  
“Hey!” Phil complained.  
“Concentrate on the film!”  
“We haven’t even set up the computer yet.” Phil said and laughed.  
“Hurry then!” Dan said and blushed.  
“I’d do anything for you.” Phil said and rolled his eyes.  
“Got to know.” Dan said. 

Note: They never managed to watch a film that day.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I'm late. I do not really have internet at my grandma's. My brother kindly gave it to me just now so I gotta be quick. This story might change a tad in the future as I have no time now to reread it! I hope you enjoyed reading it! Leave me comments and kudos if you do! <3 Have a lovely week! :)


End file.
